Yesterday, or today, depending on whom you ask, was the first anniversary of my mother's death. It has been a tough year, with two significant losses coming so close together. I think I underestimated the impact of those two deaths, even though I am supposed to know so much about grief. The holes people leave in our hearts are as deep as the love we shared, and, yes, I know how corny that sounds. Truth sometimes sounds corny, I guess.
I still feel angry that I didn't get to say goodbye to my mom. I expected to at least be able to see and touch her body, but the family had her body cremated before I got out west. I have been surprised to find how deeply this has affected me. I am working on designing a goodbye ritual. Better late than never.